Four Major Reasons Why Friends With Benefit Never Works.
What Exactly does the Expression “Friends With Benefit” mean?
This refers to an arrangement between two individuals who are already friends allowing them to enjoy all the pleasures of sexual relationship with no burdens or commitment to each other whatsoever. In some cases, it may seem fit to reduce it to a “hook up” or a “one night stand” but let’s not forget it is friends we are talking about here. Clearly, it is the friendly aspect of FWB that makes the entire arrangement challenging to comprehend.
Why is FWB so Rampant nowadays?
Friends With Benefits is a myth that is consuming human love life. Research has it that about 55% of young adults have participated in the FWB affair with their friends of the opposite sex. Well, 55% is not a small figure, right? The big question is why? Below are the few primary reasons why the FWB arrangement has become so popular especially among the youths;
i. Most young adults are trying to avoid the responsibilities and commitments that come with a serious romantic relationship. Friends With Benefits is the easy way out as it does not entail a lot of emotional support.
ii. In most cases, it is with a friend one party tried to date seriously, but there was no mutuality in their feelings. As it was once said, better has a loaf than none. In this case, one will always have the feelings but airing them will never be possible.
iii. The fear of investing their emotions in someone else. Looking at the rate at which serious relationships are failing among the youths especially in campuses and colleges, it is reasonable for one to hold his or her emotions in fear of heartbreaks. Since sex is almost becoming a necessity among young adults, FWB has gained grounds.
Four Main Reasons why Friends With Benefits Arrangement usually Fails.
⦁ Friends With Benefits is not a real relationship
Having a friend with benefits is a misconception that gives one a fleeting pleasure sexually or otherwise. The sad truth is that it is not a real relationship and it only blinds the parties from chasing after the real romantic relationship. If one has a busy schedule, FWB comes in handy, and by the time he or she realises, it may be too late for a serious relationship. It is usually fun at the beginning, but once the reality that FWB is not real sets in, failure of the arrangement takes over and sometimes it may even affect the first friendship.
⦁ There is no Friendship in the FWB arrangement.
A friend with benefits is not a real friend. There is a communication barrier between the two making the friendship aspect lose meaning. It is normal to develop so sort of feelings or comfort around the said friend with benefit. It becomes unnatural to turn to the other party for comfort or debrief as the FWB does not involve emotions.
⦁ There are always fundamental differences between the two parties involved.
The casual sex is fun, but the truth is that there are differences between the two parties; otherwise, they should have considered a serious relationship. The reason a traditional serious romantic relationship is not an option is that the two knows it wouldn’t work.
⦁ The FWB is a relationship guaranteed to end.
The mentality that it is a relationship based on sex and nothing more is the very reason FWB does not work. The partners enter this arrangement knowing that it is not meant to last. One may develop feelings towards the other in which there can be mutuality or not. It becomes difficult for them to express this feeling and talk about them which finally results in a fallout.
From the above discussion, it will be prudent to note that a Friends With Benefits relationship as fun as it may sound, it can also cause severe emotional trauma and heartbreak. Studies have it that about 85% of individuals involved in FWB are young adults and at least 35% of them are also engaged in real romantic life elsewhere. It is human nature to adjust to changing times and situations, and most of the people in the FWB have fallen victims of severe heartbreak. It happens that after developing emotional affection towards your friend with benefit is when they end the arrangement. Most victims have ended up suffering the loss alone because there is no one to share it with since what was there was just casual sex.